My husband loves the game of golf and has spent much of his life on a golf course. If playing professionally, mulligans do not exist. When playing informally, however, mulligans provide an opportunity to take a stroke (penalty) in an effort to attempt a shot for a second time. Mulligans are great for golfers like myself who play poorly but enjoy the opportunity to spend time with their spouse doing something they love.
An Unexpected Goodbye
“She said that ‘You guys need to start 2024 over again'” stated my husband as he came home from taking our fur-babies to the groomer and was sharing his conversation from earlier in the morning. My husband had relayed to her the events of the last few weeks and our groomer reacted as most had that we interact with on a routine basis. The start of 2024 had definitely thrown a lot our way. In fact, it’s thrown so much our way that it has taken two months for me to even think about finalizing this post and writing down all of my thoughts in an effort to process.
Just when we thought that 2024 might slow down, our February began with an event I had been dreading for years. Our precious Border Collie, Alexis Anne, had a bad fall that resulted in a severe broken hip and leg. At 18 years old, surgery to amputate was not an option. An emergency vet visit that we went into optimistic & hopeful that maybe it was just a bad sprain, became one of the hardest days to start out the month. We came home without our baby. Alexis had been by my side for all but 6 months of my time living in the Bluegrass state. While we had several dogs when I was growing up, she was my first baby. We moved into my first home together. She was by my side when we suffered a miscarriage early in our marriage. She was the real Queen of this house, always keeping her siblings in line. For 13 years she had been my constant companion and in a very brief moment, she was gone.
We were not prepared to say goodbye. Watching my husband and father-in-law dig her grave on the farm that Friday evening was hard. Her grave sits just in the tree line near the big house on the farm and the rocks that had been thrown aside from tilling up the garden over the last few years made a wonderful marker to find her on our farm walks. It has taken many weeks to process her loss and her siblings are just now finding a rhythm where they are no longer moping around all day. There are reminders of her all through our house; most prominently in the beautiful artwork that my parents had commissioned by local artist Joanna Finley.
One Year & Sixteen Days
Just as we were coming out of the fog of losing our sweet girl the first few weeks of February, the realization that my paternal grandmother’s health had entered its final stage of decline started hitting like waves. It had been exactly 1 year since the unexpected death of my paternal grandfather. There are still days that I reprocess the events that happened on February 9th and following. The phone calls, the rapid dropping of everything to get back to my southern home to help take care of my grandmother. The weeks of living with her and dad in her home before she too moved to the Bluegrass state to live with my parents. The hours of coordinating services, qualifications for home care & hospice. All of it had been worth it to have more time.
One year and sixteen days after the loss of my paternal grandfather, God called Grandma home as well. Our time was up. While we were more prepared for this loss than the two prior losses in this time, it didn’t make it any easier. I am thankful that I was able to be there the night we first began the morphine before she was transported to Hospice House. I am thankful that for the few days she was at hospice house, she was comfortable and not in pain as her body succumbed to the disease that had plagued her for so long. I am thankful for the wonderful day we had earlier that week where she was clearer than she had been the entire year since we had moved her. That day was a gift for all of us.
They say death comes in threes, and for us that is exactly what happened over a period of 60 days. Last week, the final moment of closure occurred as we celebrated my Grandmother’s life with a memorial service in our southern home. There are reminders of our family and fur-baby everywhere we turn. The tears are less frequent these days, but they come when you least expect it. The acuity of our grief is wearing off and the journey to finding our new normal continues.
We’ll Take our Mulligan Now
With the final service behind us, this week has provided a much needed reset for us. I had marked this week off at the beginning of the year as a vacation week, hoping we would be able to get away for at least a few days, knowing that I would have wrapped up first quarter (my busiest season of the year at work) and knowing that we had not really had a break all year. With work travel and the quick trip home for the memorial service, we decided to make this week a staycation instead.
I’m finding that I actually prefer staycations in some aspects over the hassle of a full vacation. I don’t have to find someone to watch our fur-babies. I don’t have to spend hours washing laundry and packing to go off, while also completing a laundry list of cleaning so that I am able to come home to a clean house ready to sprint to the next event when I get back. We get to sleep in our own bed every night, which our bodies very much appreciates. We’ve been able to sleep in a little bit each day, and we’ve been productive completing tasks that take up more time to complete while also enjoying some fun.
Nothing has been set in stone until the day before or day of, and I haven’t touched my planner all week. I’ll admit I feel a little lost without my planner, but I’m also enjoying the break from timing every minute of my day for max productivity and goal achievements. It has been a wonderful week to rest, reset, and spend time with my husband and family members. This week has been the mulligan we needed and it was absolutely worth the extra stroke.
Hawk Nest Adventures 