For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8
The clock struck midnight, we enjoyed our cake, and headed home in the early hours of January 1st. Hubby was not feeling well and coming down with his annual cold. This meant that the next few days, I had the pleasure of driving “Mrs. Daisy” to see my husband’s grandfather. The second day of January was a day of transition as the decision was made to move him to hospice. He was there for less than 24 hours.
The gasp on the end of the phone had been obvious, as were the tears. Hubby was in the other room, feeling some better, but not his best. He knew the news from the phone call I received was not good. Walking into the room, I relayed the message from our dear friend and Hospice nurse that his grandfather was no longer on this earth. The first of many tears were shed in that moment as we just held tightly to each other.
On the list of things that I wanted to do in life, calling my mother-in-love and interrupting her workday with the news of her father’s passing was not on my bucket list. The next several days were a blur. The burdens of the week kept coming as my father-in-love and hubby’s grandmother were sick. Hubby’s birthday was that same week, and the week of his birthday will forever have a different feeling.
I have been to many funerals and I have sung and/or played at many as well. This funeral was different. It was the most beautiful, God-honoring funeral that I had been to in many years. There are few people that have such an impact on their community, the way that Hubby’s grandfather had. The outpouring of love from his former students, fellow teachers, and farmers in the community was overwhelming, but so comforting to our hearts. The service felt more like a homecoming church service in many ways, and while I’m not quite ready to sing Because He Lives in public yet, hearing a church full of individuals exclaiming the words of that hymn is not something that I will soon forget. Following the funeral, we returned to my in-law’s home to more food than we could possibly eat and sat around the table with family to reminisce and enjoy some final time together before everyone returned to their homes the next day.
As January is full of birthdays, this first week made those celebrations difficult. How do we celebrate in the midst of so much sadness? From dinner at Olive Garden, to celebrate my mother-in love, to dinner at our favorite local steakhouse to celebrate both Hubby’s birthday and mine, we found time for joyous moments. The one thing we knew was that family, and the happiness of his family, was so important to Hubby’s grandfather. With that knowledge, we made it a point to enjoy time with family trying our best to make these days special, in spite of the circumstances.
One month into the year, 2024 was so far proving to not be much different from the previous year. For reasons that we are not meant to understand, our season of grief is not yet over. Slowly, we were settling into an even different routine than what we had found from the last four months. We have moments where we are caught off guard by the emotions and the memories, and then there are moments that we can’t help but laugh at the memories that bring so much joy.
Miriam Webster defines Joy as an emotion evoked by well-being, success, good-fortune, by possessing what one desires, the expression of such emotion, a state of happiness, or a source of delight. However, biblically, Joy, is defined as comforting, content, and full of peace. It is in that definition that we are able to find joy in this season. Since we know that our loved ones had faith in Jesus, the hope of the gospel shapes our season of grief1. As Clarissa Moll writes, “It colors our sorrow and infuses our sadness with persistent joy. “ In this season of grief, we have taken comfort knowing that God always fulfills his promises to his children, and the hope of heaven is even sweeter now than it has ever been before.
Because He Lives, I can face tomorrow, Because He Lives, all fear is gone; Because I know He holds the future, and life is worth the living, just Because He Lives!
Words & Music by Bill & Gloria Gaither
1 https://annvoskamp.com/2022/08/resilience-and-resurrection-gods-gracious-gifts-in-grief/
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